One theme I keep returning to in my work is the relationship between grief, trauma, and the nervous system.

Grief is not only an emotional experience. It lives in the body. It can affect our breath, sleep, digestion, energy, sense of safety, and our ability to connect with others. Loss can shake the very ground beneath us, and the nervous system often responds by trying to protect us. We may feel numb, anxious, foggy, irritable, collapsed, restless, or unable to fully arrive in the present moment.

Nervous system regulation is not about becoming calm all the time or bypassing the reality of pain. It is about slowly building enough safety, steadiness, and support so grief can move through us in a way that does not completely overwhelm us.

In my sessions, this might look like pausing, feeling the support of the ground, orienting to the room or to our senses, noticing what the body is experiencing, making space for emotion in small and tolerable ways, or reconnecting with parts of ourselves that may have been pushed away or left unheard.

This is where somatic work and grief tending meet.

“Tragedy and sorrow can accomplish in a single moment what years of sitting on a meditation cushion may never yield: an unequivocal surrendering into the arms of the mystery.”
~Mirabai Starr